PARENTING
RAISING TEENS
Adolescence can be a confusing time of change for teens & parents alike
- These years can be challenging
- There's plenty you can do to nurture your teen & encourage responsible behavior
- Use these parenting skills to deal with the challenges of raising a teen
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SHOW YOUR LOVE
One of the most important parenting skills
needed for raising healthy teens involves positive attention
- Spend time with your teen to remind him or her that you care
- Listen to your teen when he or she talks & respect your teen's feelings
- Keep in mind that only reprimanding your teen & never giving him or her any justified praise can prove demoralizing
- For every time you discipline or correct your teen, try to compliment him or her twice
- If your teen doesn't seem interested in bonding, keep trying
- Regularly eating meals together may be a good way to stay connected to your teen
- Often invite your teen to prepare the meal with you
On days when you're having trouble connecting with your teen
- Try doing your something in the same room as your teen
- Being near each other could lead to the start of a conversation
- Encourage your teen to talk to other supportive adults, like an uncle or older cousin
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MINIMIZE PRESSURE
- Don't pressure your teen to be like you were or wish you had been at his or her age
- Give your teen some leeway when it comes to clothing & hairstyles
- It's natural for teens to rebel & express themselves in ways that differ from their parents
- If your teen shows an interest in tattoos & piercings, make sure he or she understands the health risks
1. Skin infections
2. Allergic reactions
3. Hepatitis B and C
4. Scarring - As you allow your teen some degree of self-expression, remember that you can still maintain high expectations for your teen & the kind of person he or she will become
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ENCOURAGE CYBER SAFETY
- If possible, keep the computer in a common area in your home
- Get to know the technology your teen is using & the websites he or she visits
Remind your teen to practice these basic safety rules
- Don't share personal information online
- Don't share passwords
- Don't get together with someone you meet online
- Don't send anything in a message you wouldn't say face to face
- Don't text or chat on the phone while driving
- Don't plagiarize
- Talk to a parent or trusted adult if an interaction or message makes you uncomfortable
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SET LIMITS
To encourage your teen to behave well,
identify what constitutes acceptable & unacceptable
behavior
at home, at school & elsewhere
As you establish appropriate rules,
explain to your teen the behavior you expect
as well as the consequences for complying and disobeying.
When setting limits
- Avoid ultimatums
Your teen may view an ultimatum as condescending & interpret it as a challenge. - Be specific
Rather than telling your teen not to stay out late, set a specific curfew. - Be concise
Keep your rules short and to the point. - Put rules in writing
Use this technique to counter a selective memory. - Be flexible
As your teen demonstrates more responsibility, grant him or her more freedom.
If your teen shows poor judgment, impose more restrictions. - Be prepared to explain your decisions
Your teen may be more likely to comply with a rule when he or she understands its purpose. - Be reasonable
Avoid setting rules your teen can't possibly follow.
A chronically messy teen may not be able to maintain a spotless bedroom overnight.
Not sure if you're setting reasonable limits?
- Talk to your teen, other parents & your teen's doctor
- Whenever possible, give your teen a say in establishing the rules he or she is expected
to follow.
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PRIORITIZE RULES
- It's important to consistently enforce your rules
- You can occasionally make exceptions when it comes to matters such as homework habits,
TV watching & bedtime - Prioritizing rules will give you & your teen a chance to practice negotiating &compromising
- Before negotiating with your teen, consider how far you're willing to bend
- Don't negotiate when it comes to restrictions imposed for your teen's safety, such as
substance abuse, sexual activity & reckless driving - Let your teen know early-on that you won't tolerate tobacco, alcohol or other drug use
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ENFORCE CONSEQUENCES
- Enforcing consequences can be tough
- Your teen needs you to be his or her parent, not a pal
- Being too lenient may send the message that you don't take your teen's behavior seriously
- Being too harsh can cause resentment
Suggested Methods
- Active ignoring. Tell your teen that you'll talk to him or her when the whining, sulking or
yelling stops. Ignore your teen in the meantime. - Scolding and disapproval. Make sure you reprimand your teen's behavior, not your teen. Avoid using a sarcastic, demeaning or disrespectful tone. Also, avoid reprimanding your teen
in front of his or her friends. - Imposing additional responsibilities. Assign your teen additional household tasks.
- Imposing additional restrictions. Take away a privilege or possession that's meaningful
to your teen, such as computer time or a cell phone. - Asking your teen to suggest a consequence. Your teen may have an easier time
accepting a consequence if he or she played a role in deciding it.
Be consistent when you enforce limits
- No matter which disciplinary tactic you choose, relate the consequences to the broken rule
& deliver them immediately - Limit punishments to a few hours or days to make them most effective
- Avoid punishing your teen when you're angry
- Don't impose penalties you're not prepared to carry out
- Punish only the guilty party, not other family members
- Never use physical harm to discipline your teen
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SET A POSITIVE EXAMPLE
- Teens learn how to behave by watching their parents
- Your actions generally speak louder than your words
- Set a positive example and your teen will likely follow your lead
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