COMEDY
USING PARAPROSDOKIANS
Paraprosdokians part of
a sentence or phrase
is surprising, unexpected
& sometimes funny
- The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
- Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
- If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
- We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
- Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
- They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
- Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my desk is a work station.
- I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
- When filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'
- I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
- A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
- You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
- Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
- I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
- I'm supposed to respect my elders, but its getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
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