PUNS
THAT MAKE YOU SMILE
All Puns were submitted by visitors to KosherWoman.com
- I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
- I had amnesia once---or twice
- I went to San Francisco . I found someone's heart. Now what?
- Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
- All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy
- If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.
- What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
- They told me I was gullible and I believed them.
- Teach a child to be polite & courteous in the home & when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.
- Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
- One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
- My weight is perfect for my height--which varies.
- How can there be self-help "groups"?
- If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
- Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground & I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off
- Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
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- I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
- I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
- What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine.
- The primary responsibility for a child's education is apparent.
- For plumbers, a flush beats a full house.
- The best way to communicate with a fish is to drop it a line.
- Her company distributes gift-boxed cashews, and she has a delivery guy that drives her nuts.
- No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
- Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
- A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
- A backward poet writes in-verse
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