SHORT COMEDY STORIES
- So far today, Hashem, I've done alright.
I haven't gossiped, lost my temper, been grumpy,
nasty or selfish. I'm eally glad of that.
But in a few minutes, Hashem,
I'm going to get out of bed & from then on,
I'm probably going to need a lot of help
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- A husband & wife were involved in a petty argument, both of them unwilling to admit they might be wrong.
"I'll admit I'm wrong, the wife told her husband in a conciliatory attempt" if you'll admit I'm right."
He agreed & like a gentleman, he insisted she go first.
"I'm wrong," she said.
With a twinkle in his eye, he respoded, "You're right!"
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- One day at Starbuck's, a woman suddenly called out,"My daughter's choking! She swallowed a nickel! Please, anyone, help!"
Immediately a man at a nearby table rushed up to her& said he was experienced in these situations. He calmly stepped over to the girl, then with no look of concern, wrapped his arms around her & squeezed. Out popped the nickel. The man returned to his table as if nothing
had happened.
"Thank you!" the mother cried. "Tell me, are you a doctor?"
"No," the man replied. "I work for the IRS."
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- Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement home were sitting
on a bench in the park. One turns to the other & says:
Moshe, I'm 83 years old now & I'm jus full of aches & pains.
I know you're about my age. How do you feel?
Yehuda says " I feel just like a newborn baby."
Moshe asks "Really? Like a newborn baby?"
Yehuda says "Yes. No hair, no teeth & I wake up 5 times a night."
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- A Dutchman was explaining the red, white & blue Netherlands flag to an American.
"Our flag is symbolic of our taxes.
We get red when we talk about them,
white when we get our tax bills
& blue after we pay them."
The American nodded.
"It's the same in the USA, only we see stars too!"
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